Caring

Recently, I attended a workshop on how to cope when living within an emotionally unstable environment.

The take away lesson for me was this:

Be on the watch out for the Perfectionist.

When caring for yourself or someone else, it’s okay to be unable to fix the problems within the relationship.

People cannot be fixed.

It’s best to accept that you are doing your best, even when the situation isn’t working out.

But if you are seeking perfectionism, then you become a part of the problem.

Relationships are not perfect. They are always changing. Being a Perfectionist just puts you into a state of distress and weakens your ability to respond with love.

So next time I find myself seeking perfectionism, I’m pulling back and saying to myself:

“Good is good enough.”

Teeth

I’m sitting in a dental clinic’s waiting room. The Receptionists are friendly, but I’m nervous anyway.

My Dentist, who I first visited as a child and saw well into adulthood, has retired. Which means I require a new Dentist.

The first option did extra work on my teeth. I disliked her enthusiasm for drilling into what I thought was healthy tooth.

So now, I’m getting a second opinion. This Dentist came personally recommended by a Work Colleague.

The moral of the story?

If you’re unhappy with the Dentist you’re seeing… switch.

Teeth are important and expensive accessories to the human body.

Look after them.

Aunthood

All my life I’ve been upset by the way Dad spoke to me when we used to work together.

To gain my attention he would whistle to me. And it made me feel like a dog being given commands.

Until tonight.

I was at my sister’s house with my 2 year old nephew.

So, what did I do when he tried to follow me outside the house in the dark?

I clicked my fingers and said, “Inside.”

What’s wrong with this?

It’s precisely how I tell my dog to get inside.

I now understand Dad much better.

I’ve not been an Aunt for all that long and am still learning.

Dad hadn’t had a teen daughter for all that long either.

So, Dad, it’s all forgiven.

Forming caring relationships

I’m not an expert.

I’ve just made it to middle age with a support network made of people from all ages and walks of life.

But I’ve learnt over the years how to do this. I was not born such a social butterfly.

If you’re working on establishing a rapport with someone, start with good eye contact. And then compliment them. Nothing creepy, just a comment on how they have a nice smile or how you like their boots.

And if nervous, tell them. Be upfront. Be honest. People love and tend to respond well to a little honest vulnerability and imperfection.

Then strike up conversation. Mention why you’re in the building or waiting in the queue, if appropriate.

If all else fails, talk about the weather.

And if you see them again, say hi.

You may have just made a friend.

Healing relationships

Relationships form a delicate web across the globe. From dolphins and their interactions with each other to the role ants play in keeping the cycles of a rainforest turning, to the big human cities, we are all inter-related.

On a personal level, these relationships exist between members of a family, colleagues in a business and all kinds of social arenas.

So we may as well get along.

When a hurt has been witnessed by a relationship, three options lie available.

We can tear ourselves apart and continue at war with each other. This follows the “eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” logic. But this just causes more conflict.

Or we can liberate ourselves from this cycle. There are two options branching out of this. We can choose to stay and repair, like with a family member we love dearly.

Or we can choose to walk away.

With any decision, it must be made with a wise heart. At the end of the day, we’re the ones who are left to live with our decisions.

Let’s choose peace. Let’s choose to live in a world with out violence and war.

Let’s choose to embrace the goal of healing our relationships.

Abundance

Abundance. The truth is that we are always experiencing this.

Think this is a lie? Or New Age fluff?

Well, if there’s not an abundance of, for example, money, in your life, this means there is an abundance of poverty.

This can be turned around.

The first step is acknowledging that you have the ability to change your financial situation. Self belief is key.

Yes. You can do it.

It requires thought, perseverance and commitment.

It requires creativity and maybe reaching out to loved ones for strength, support and inspiration.

And then it requires taking the steps, doing the tasks, walking the path.

What holds back most people is not that they can’t do this. What holds most of us is fear. In Nelson Mandela’s speech, he said that it was not our darkness that we were scared of, but our light.

So, if you’d like to gain some abundance, reach to your source of courage, be it your loved ones, your God, or a book, and gain a grip on your fear.

Then, explore the possibilities.

I’m happy to brain storm and research.

Just email me on lizseverest@gmail.com

Health

The cornerstone of life and success. Often ignored and taken for granted, but at one’s peril.

Let’s talk health.

What naturally springs to mind is physical health. This comprises of eating well and getting enough physical exercise. For me, I ride my push bike to work and around town, and I eat a mostly vegetarian diet with a little bit of fish.

But there are other areas of life requiring a watchful eye and some sort of strategy.

Mental health is important, especially when there are mental illnesses and dementia lurking in the future if not handled correctly. One strategy is to do mental puzzles or a hobby such as writing.

Emotional health also is worthy of a mention. Making connections within family, friend networks, and the community can protect from isolation and loneliness. And it can be as simple as asking the person at the cash register how their day has been.

But the real area that ties all these together is our shared spiritual health. I’m not talking about what church or religion one belongs too. I’m talking morals, ethics and a vision for one’s own life.

Committing to a vision larger than I am is something that gets me out of bed and keeps me striving forward. Shared with my employer, my family and friends, and my community, this vision keeps me empowered.

What is your vision?

How are you looking after every facet of your health?