Category: Wellness

Posted on

Simple forgiveness

There is much wrong with the world and a lot of conflict. Ukraine and Russia, Trump, and drones sighted above Europe. It all indicates that a lasting solution is required.

The best solution I can come up with, upon reflection, is simple forgiveness.

In the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, how to face death is with forgiveness. As a person dies, they often regret much in their life and feel guilt.

If a person is dying, focus on their positive attributes and forgive them.

If it is your own death, you are facing, focus on forgiving anyone who has wronged you.

But the most powerful and succinct way to forgive is the Fourfold Steps to Forgiveness. This is outlined in Desmond Tutu’s book on forgiving, written with his daughter.

After apartheid came to an end in South Africa, there was much hatred between the black and white peoples who called the country their home.

Desmond’s daughter had a member of her household murdered in the family home, where they both lived.

And so the fourfold path was born.

  1. Tell the story and context of the hurt.
  2. Tell why it hurts.
  3. Forgive
  4. Release or renew the relationship.

This means that the two parties can separate,  unburdened by the hurt. Or they can renew their relationship and move forward into a better future, with wisdom.

Forgiveness does not mean the person or party who caused the harm goes unpunished. It means that you believe that they have a conscience and it’s their conscience they need to appease. It’s a belief in the goodness of all creation.

Forgiveness is the key to transcending the hurt and conflict in the world. As individuals we can make a lasting difference, if Forgiveness is the path we choose to tread.

Posted on

Vegetarian

What food would you say is your specialty?

For over twenty years, I’ve been a Vegetarian. 

This means I’m better at cooking vegetables than any other food group. And my favourite cuisine to cook at home is Mediterranean.

I love all vegetables and have never met any edible plant I dislike.

The staples for me are tinned tomatoes and tinned or dried beans.

Dried beans are easy to cook. Just boil the kettle, pour boiling water over the beans generously, soak overnight. And then let the slow cooker do the rest of the work.

What are the benefits of this diet?

It’s healthy, affordable, good for the planet, and cruelty free.

Why not cook more vegetarian meals or, if concerned about climate change or your budget, become Vegetarian today.

Posted on

Perfectionism

To the average Perfectionist, Perfectionism can hold one back, cause worry, and stop one from achieving.

But I have a simple solution.

Add an Ing at the end of Perfect.

So today, I am Perfecting, my writing.

It’s a way of life, an aspiration, a verb.

So now, Dear Perfectionists, keep doing what you do. Keep Perfecting every aspect of your life.

Perfect!

Posted on

Failing

Just to mention this bush fires again… it is still bush fire season here in Australia…I’m just posting this piece I wrote as I helped with the bush fire near my family’s home.

While the bush fire is near, I feel irresponsible, leaving my sister with my nephews alone and with out my support.

So that means I am currently sitting in the lounge room with a 4 month old.

Now one thing I must note. His target at the moment is to learn to crawl.

In the past 30 minutes I have watched his little face screw up in concentration as he pushes his chest up off his baby blanket. To all extents and purposes he is failing.

But do you know what he does?

Every time he’s on that blanket, he tries and tries again.

It’s not failure. It’s a part of his learning process.

So every time I hit a wall, I’m going to follow his example. I’m going to focus on my goal and start working on it again… until I get there.

Are you going to follow a 4 month old baby’s lead too?

Posted on

Waiting

How many of us spend our life waiting.

Waiting for a higher paying job. Waiting for the holidays, waiting for the Significant Other?

It’s hard to get this, or at least it has been for me…

But Life is happening NOW!

As we all wait for things to be different, life is not waiting for us to make up our minds or for the right opportunity to announce itself.

So, why are we?

My challenge before the Christmas season and the New Year is to stop waiting.

Get up and make a decision.

Resting is okay… but do not wait.

Posted on

Caring

Recently, I attended a workshop on how to cope when living within an emotionally unstable environment.

The take away lesson for me was this:

Be on the watch out for the Perfectionist.

When caring for yourself or someone else, it’s okay to be unable to fix the problems within the relationship.

People cannot be fixed.

It’s best to accept that you are doing your best, even when the situation isn’t working out.

But if you are seeking perfectionism, then you become a part of the problem.

Relationships are not perfect. They are always changing. Being a Perfectionist just puts you into a state of distress and weakens your ability to respond with love.

So next time I find myself seeking perfectionism, I’m pulling back and saying to myself:

“Good is good enough.”

Posted on

Teeth

I’m sitting in a dental clinic’s waiting room. The Receptionists are friendly, but I’m nervous anyway.

My Dentist, who I first visited as a child and saw well into adulthood, has retired. Which means I require a new Dentist.

The first option did extra work on my teeth. I disliked her enthusiasm for drilling into what I thought was healthy tooth.

So now, I’m getting a second opinion. This Dentist came personally recommended by a Work Colleague.

The moral of the story?

If you’re unhappy with the Dentist you’re seeing… switch.

Teeth are important and expensive accessories to the human body.

Look after them.

Posted on

Aunthood

All my life I’ve been upset by the way Dad spoke to me when we used to work together.

To gain my attention he would whistle to me. And it made me feel like a dog being given commands.

Until tonight.

I was at my sister’s house with my 2 year old nephew.

So, what did I do when he tried to follow me outside the house in the dark?

I clicked my fingers and said, “Inside.”

What’s wrong with this?

It’s precisely how I tell my dog to get inside.

I now understand Dad much better.

I’ve not been an Aunt for all that long and am still learning.

Dad hadn’t had a teen daughter for all that long either.

So, Dad, it’s all forgiven.

Posted on

Forming caring relationships

I’m not an expert.

I’ve just made it to middle age with a support network made of people from all ages and walks of life.

But I’ve learnt over the years how to do this. I was not born such a social butterfly.

If you’re working on establishing a rapport with someone, start with good eye contact. And then compliment them. Nothing creepy, just a comment on how they have a nice smile or how you like their boots.

And if nervous, tell them. Be upfront. Be honest. People love and tend to respond well to a little honest vulnerability and imperfection.

Then strike up conversation. Mention why you’re in the building or waiting in the queue, if appropriate.

If all else fails, talk about the weather.

And if you see them again, say hi.

You may have just made a friend.

Posted on

Healing relationships

Relationships form a delicate web across the globe. From dolphins and their interactions with each other to the role ants play in keeping the cycles of a rainforest turning, to the big human cities, we are all inter-related.

On a personal level, these relationships exist between members of a family, colleagues in a business and all kinds of social arenas.

So we may as well get along.

When a hurt has been witnessed by a relationship, three options lie available.

We can tear ourselves apart and continue at war with each other. This follows the “eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” logic. But this just causes more conflict.

Or we can liberate ourselves from this cycle. There are two options branching out of this. We can choose to stay and repair, like with a family member we love dearly.

Or we can choose to walk away.

With any decision, it must be made with a wise heart. At the end of the day, we’re the ones who are left to live with our decisions.

Let’s choose peace. Let’s choose to live in a world with out violence and war.

Let’s choose to embrace the goal of healing our relationships.