Month: October 2019

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Aunthood

All my life I’ve been upset by the way Dad spoke to me when we used to work together.

To gain my attention he would whistle to me. And it made me feel like a dog being given commands.

Until tonight.

I was at my sister’s house with my 2 year old nephew.

So, what did I do when he tried to follow me outside the house in the dark?

I clicked my fingers and said, “Inside.”

What’s wrong with this?

It’s precisely how I tell my dog to get inside.

I now understand Dad much better.

I’ve not been an Aunt for all that long and am still learning.

Dad hadn’t had a teen daughter for all that long either.

So, Dad, it’s all forgiven.

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Water

Now, you may be wondering why I’ve titled this post, simply Water.

A few years ago, I read a book called “The Colour of Water.” James McBride is the author.

Much of the book has been forgotten, not due to the author’s lack of talent, but more because of the progress of time.

The bit that stands out for me the most, is the bit where James asks his Mum,
“What is the colour of Spirit?”

Her answer is “The colour of water.”

I’ve never heard such a beautiful way of putting it.

Spirit runs through the Earth like water. It rushes through both the Natural World and through Human Made Constructions.

Today, Spirit felt much like water. I was reflecting on time, and how it rushes out of one’s hands as soon as one realises that it is passing.

There are a couple of activities that make time stand still for me, that provide a temporary respite from fast moving time.

These are jogging, writing and spending time with dear friends and family.

Jogging ties me to the premeval task of staying alive. Our ancestors stayed alive and moved from place to place by running or jogging.

Being a Writer ties me to my childhood. I loved all things creative, as a child. I curtailed my drawing so I could better write. Writing is always my first love… always has been…always will be.

And then there’s time spent with my loved ones. Once a week, I make the dusty drive to my Mentor and Best Friend’s house. We savour cups of coffee together, sometimes enjoy meals of Fish and Chips, and always enjoy our conversations. I find her wise, entertaining and clever… and being a fellow Writer, we mercilessly tease each other with word play.

So, may Spirit, regardless of the form that it takes, be with you, and may we continue to build this life together.

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Motherhood

For those of you who know me, you’ll be wondering why I’m writing about Motherhood.

Well it’s simple really.

There are many ways to share the journey of Motherhood, and only one of these involve being pregnant.

Motherhood is tied to Aunthood. An Aunty is someone who has a close famial relationship with her sister or brother’s children. It’s almost being a Mum as the Aunty role is a potentially pivotal role in the child’s life.

And then there is the Person in the Community role. That person who notices the child and is also in a nurturing role. Think of the school teacher, or kindly neighbour. These people are also important.

In my opinion, Motherhood has been reduced in a way. Because, to me, there are other ways that such a role can be partaken in.

To me, Motherhood is more about emotional maturity and taking an active role in the development of a child into adulthood.

So to all the Aunts, teachers, neighbours and friends of young people…

…this Post is all about you!

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Forming caring relationships

I’m not an expert.

I’ve just made it to middle age with a support network made of people from all ages and walks of life.

But I’ve learnt over the years how to do this. I was not born such a social butterfly.

If you’re working on establishing a rapport with someone, start with good eye contact. And then compliment them. Nothing creepy, just a comment on how they have a nice smile or how you like their boots.

And if nervous, tell them. Be upfront. Be honest. People love and tend to respond well to a little honest vulnerability and imperfection.

Then strike up conversation. Mention why you’re in the building or waiting in the queue, if appropriate.

If all else fails, talk about the weather.

And if you see them again, say hi.

You may have just made a friend.